Stress Everywhere

We had dinner with a young couple in our ward and the guy was like "I forgot to make dessert." so he made us brownie batter. it was reaalllllyy good!

I have realized that literally everything stresses me out. Seriously, everything.

I stress about what I eat. If I eat bad stuff, then my energy will be low, and I won't be able to function as well as I could and be the very best I can.

I stress about exercise because if I don't do enough, then I won't have the energy to get work done.

Yay sports! 

I stress about playing sports with people because they get so into it and I am not good, and I will make them lose on accident.

I stress when my space gets messy because science (or something) says I won't be able to focus as well when I study, and then I won't have the spirit, and then I can't help our investigators.

I stress out when people say words like "rock climbing," "sky diving," and sometimes (all the time) when people say something as simple as "hiking."  Because if we do those things, someone is going to break a leg and I don't know how to handle it, so we're all going to die. Clearly.

The Zone

The other day, something not great happened to one of our investigators, so we heart attacked her door just a couple of hours after we found out.  Then the thoughts running through my head were "what if we creep her out with how fast our response is??  If that happens, we won't be able to feel the spirit in our next lesson because there will just be weird, awkward tension.  Oh no!  And then she won't progress.  Oh no!  It'll be all our fault.  Oh no."

I stress about everything. Isn't that so dumb?? It's really dumb. But it's also a huge relief to know this about myself. Now that I know this I realize that things aren't as bad as I think they are, I'm just a dingus!! I've realized that stressing about everything really cuts down the joy that I feel. Thankfully, God has offered us help to turn our weaknesses into strengths. So off I go, with trust in God, hope for the future, and a determination to stress less.

One of the areas in my life that really stresses me out is teaching. Because if I don't follow the spirit exactly and do and say the right things all the time, then everything is ruined. Which is not true, It's just how I feel. But we've established that I'm a dingus, so I'm going to figure out how to not be that way. Not all of my stress is unfounded though. I realized in a lesson the other day that when the scriptures say that the closer we come to Jesus the more we recognize our weaknesses they are completely right. When I am involved in the teaching moments that we have with our investigators, I can feel and see just how much the Savior is working with them. How closely and intimately He works with them. When I teach those who are actively trying to come unto the Savior, I feel my own inadequacies that much more because at that moment I can feel the love and attention Jesus Himself is giving them. Which means at that moment I am closer to Him and then I feel weaker. dduuuuuuhhhhh. Now that I'm aware of this I don't mind feeling so inadequate going into lessons because I know that our Savior is doing most of the work. You wanna know what else stresses me out? The fact that literally, no effort on my part will ever be perfect because I feel like it needs to be. In my head, I can grasp that it's okay that nothing I ever do is perfect (because Jesus will make up the difference) but that information has yet to find it's way into my heart. My natural inclination is to stress about all of that but I am going to refrain from doing so.  I've realized that stressing about everything really cuts down the joy that I feel. Thankfully, God has offered us help to turn our weaknesses into strengths. So off I go, with trust in God, hope for the future, and a determination to stress less.

I've learned a lot about myself recently, including that one of the ways I relieve stress is to take some time to be a goof ball. Absurd dance moves, bad jokes, awkwardly playing sports, telling silly stories, etc. I just need time to be silly to feel better. So this week sister Donaldson and I made a life size version of Sister Travis (our zone mascot) to prank our zone leaders with. It's horrendous, and so are the pictures we took with it.

 I've realized that stressing about everything really cuts down the joy that I feel. Thankfully, God has offered us help to turn our weaknesses into strengths. So off I go, with trust in God, hope for the future, and a determination to stress less.

So Awesome! So happy for her!

Zone Temple Trip